Two men walk into a bar. You think the second one would have ducked.
A snail is returning home late at night and has to cut through a dark ally. As he is passing through, he is mugged by two slugs. Later on at the police station, the officer asks him, "Can you give me a description of the assailents?" The snail ponders this for a moment and then replies, "Gee, I'm not sure... it all happened so fast."
Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
Two sausages are in a pan. One looks at the other and says, "God it's hot in here," and the other sausage says "OH MY GOD IT'S A TALKING SAUSAGE!"
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